Oh gee, no, never. Never even considered it. That sorta thing’s super bad, isn’t it?
Nah, man. That shit’s fly. Don’t cause you no harm or nothin’. You gotta try it.
Smoked a fag? Yeah. I mean, I’ve taken a drag before, but that’s it. I was a long time ago, though. Anything else?
Not a fag, man. I mean— You know. Muggles? Mary Jane?
A few times, yeah. That all you got, killer?
You wish, baby. Ever smoked?
Well looky there, i’m flattered the toughest, meanest kid in school is interested in lil’ ol’ me. Tell ya what, if you can guess, i’ll tell you. But i’m tellin’ ya now, it isn’t much.
As you should be. Hmm. Ever drank before?
Girls wear panties, sir. I, do not. And, uh, thank you, I suppose… Why is it any of your business anyways? I mean, i’m obviously not as ‘cool’ as you and your friends are anyways.
Details. I, well— Fuck, man. You’re interestin’. Don’t ask me why. Why can’t I know?
… Right. Well, I won’t be the one who pushes the questio- Wait. Did you just call me, ‘baby’..? I’m not completely oblivious. I’m not innocent, I can assure you. How exactly would I go about ‘proving’ this?
Don’t get your panties in a wad. You should be flattered. I don’t call just anyone baby. You seem really fuckin’ oblivious to me. You can prove it by actually showing me what you’ve done before.
I hate to be the burster of bubbles, but there’s a heck of a lot of people who say that. Heck, I even heard in my Math class that you got bent one night and punched out an officer. Well, no. I mean, I won’t call myself ‘innocent’, because I do know stuff, I just choose to say away from it all. I do plenty ‘worthwhile’ in my life, thank you very much.
I’ll be the first to admit I’ve done a lot of shit. And I won’t be the one to tell you if that story is true or not, baby. You ‘know stuff.’ ‘Scuse me while I laugh. You look like one o’ the most innocent kids I ever saw. And that’s sayin’ somethin’. Oh, really? Prove it.
I’m hoping i’ll end in a place like that one day. Make something of myself or somethin’.
No, no, that’s not what I mean at all! I mean- I didn’t mean to cause a panic or nothing, it’s just that I know all the seniors consider you the rag-a-muffin’s ‘n such. I mean, i’ve never actually talked to any of you guy so I wouldn’t know anything other than what i’ve picked from the grapevine. Well, I mean, I don’t really smoke, or drink, or… whatever else I hear you guys do, so I suppose I sort of am, in a way…
Rag-a-muffin? Who said that? They’re cruisin’ for a bruisin’. People can talk, s’not like I give a rat’s ass what they say. So you’re one o’ those innocent types, huh? Didn’t do nothin’ worthwhile in your whole life. Sounds like a drag to me.
Well, I’ve never been out of Ohio, but i’d love too see New York. But the grass is always greener on the other side I suppose.
I’m not sayin’ I don’t enjoy all sorts of audience members. I’m just sayin’, ya know, ‘your type’ isn’t really typical at the Shack. You’re type being ‘those kids who smoke ‘n skip classes and toss other kids into locker’…
Seriously? That’s lame, man. New York is where you wanna be if you wanna make somethin’ of yourself, y’know? That’s where I’m goin’ when I leave.
Maybe I’ll go somewhere else then. I only go there for the food, otherwise s’not my scene at all. Ohhh. You think you’re fly, knowing what my type is, don’tcha? And what are you? Some goody-goody hipster with the bowties and shit?